Solitude starts
Dear Kie,
It is almost a week since you finally told me I Love You. Whether it was spontaneity or not, it was quiet an effort for you to console me with what I always wanted to hear. Right this moment I try not to be miserable like you always made me feel. My neighbor who cannot shut the fuck up reminds me of you, so after a week of trying to stay away from you, the despair has finally sunk in.
Either way I am still and always wretched with or without you. I’m not even sure if I have chosen the lesser evil. Is this the lesser evil, then? I cannot stop thinking of you and how you’d been with me, with us. I want you back, but I feel you won’t take a chance like you never did. That is why I left.
I am not leaving this time. I am just beginning to grieve for you again. Solitude. I do not know if you see me hurting, or you notice my pain. Did you ever feel my tears? I would kill to be in that moment again when you told me that the sky is blue… I believed you. You made me believed in possibilities like no one ever did.
I am tired of this Russian roulette of our love or whatever left of us. I just want to know if you could do something for me, for us. Sacrifice.
I miss you. I terribly miss you. But then, I have to do this for me. I guess I have chosen the lesser evil. I think so…. [ November 5, 2007, 2:10 AM ]
Not liking it really,
Cielo
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