Hit, run and hit again? Not!
Ha! For the nth time, what is it with exboyfriends? This particular exboyfriend is like still all over me. Like WTF?! First of all, he is just like a rebound guy. One of those guys that I stupidly have hooked up with because I’m very upset with my supposedly pure relationship with none other than Kieran. I have planned my life around him. I have laid it all for him. I even save myself for him. Yeah right! I have planned, that will be the only and last plan I will ever have.
The next thing I know, I have lost faith in marriage and decide on a let’s-pick-a-guy-and-get-laid spree. It actually cost me three years of depression. I know that I have never been the fucking around but I did it anyway, which every situation is never the case. That is why this exboyfriend is still trying to buy his way into me, literally into me. Seriously? I’ve never opened for him. I just said sorry. I said sorry to them all.
Praying in that situation really works. Yup, I’ve prayed. Who prays during sex? I do! I always summon all the angels in heaven to guard me and protect me. Hahahaha! Because I know it’s not right and every cell in my body says so. It’s just the thought of physically exploring others that drives me into it. And oh, that exboyfriend of Charisma who has mocked me that I will die a virgin. See, I don’t have plans to get married anymore, so what the hell am I saving myself for? So then there I go…. Well, that only happened in a year and never again.
I’ve learned my lesson - Don’t do someone if you are not completely in love with that person, or at least that works for me. I always believe that sex is something metaphysical. An act of the souls. I just don’t know why it has become so casual for most people. And yeah I have been sorry as hell for the longest time for doing it without love. This year I have finally forgiven myself as I accidentally bumped into my last fantasy in Lanuza. Ha! What a small world?!
Anyway, this exboyfriend is going to be cheating on his girlfriend, which is the same girlfriend he has been cheating on when we were together. I never really know during that time that there is a girlfriend. Some guys… And no way I’m going to stop over Cebu. I’m erasing Cebu in my travel map. I always get in trouble in Cebu. Yes, he is in Cebu! Well, it’s not just me, but anybody out there who wants to get laid immediately in the Philippines, pick Cebu. Everybody there is horny as hell. That’s according to my friends who travel too for some some and then some.
I’m not pretty that make guys run for me. But yes, I am sexy. Hahahaha! Sexy without even trying. Naughty without the action. I don’t why the hell they say so, but I confirm that with Harry, my sex machine friend. Nope, we never did it. Harry is sweet and brotherly although he politely asked me once. He’s stoned and drunk at that time.
I really don’t mean to have sex… wait… almost-sex sex. I want to make love. I want to close my eyes and lose myself into the void of nothingness and astral reality. I want to come with absolute passion. I want to be closer to God, or at least that’s how Nine Inch Nails would put it in their song Closer. Lol! Enough said! Ciao wow wow!
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