14.4.14

Hello Auntie

It must be the death anniversary of my long gone aunt, or perhaps her birthday. I was her favourite among the nephews and nieces. She understood me. She stood by me. A couple of something that made my mother even hated her more. My mother declared a celebratory sigh when my aunt died of breast cancer. That was so mean.

So I dreamt of my Auntie Emay. She had a fierce wit, but she was also fierce as she was. Yet, I always thought she was unhappy. Perhaps the reason why she spoiled me and my cousins, well especially me. Again, my mother hated such gesture. 

She was happy last night. My auntie was smiling. I greeted her with enthusiasm. I asked where she had been, and why she was still alive. She told me that she was not dead all those years. She was just gone. She was in Australia. It was a happy scene despite the presence of my mother. Her hatred, more likely insecurities, towards my auntie were still so clear. But who cares, I saw my auntie smiled. I guess she is with me right now, in the form of an insect, to validate my dream. I was told that dead could visit their love ones by insects as vessels. It might be a superstitious belief per se, but I believe so.

It was nice to see my aunt again. It was not the first time I dreamt of her, but her cosmic visits were always vague. Now I know why. She would always be that aunt, whose watching over me.

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I saw my youngest brother too. He was crying when my aunt and I met with him. His girlfriend cheated (or would cheat) on him. I caught the girl on the act and went so big sister on her. I slapped her hard with threatening words. I could still remember my furious feelings.

I am not telling my brother, not just yet. I need to know if my dream is another foresight, just like when I found out about my father's affair.