28.1.18

Begin the End

I start the day tired. I end the day tired. Domestication is an overwhelming clockwork. It never ends. It ceases for a bit, then repeat itself eventually to a better, if not worse, degree. So what if I complain like this, with words screaming out in the open? As much as I want to suck it all up every damn day, and get everything over with, I could only take in so much for a day. If I am lucky, for a whole week or month. Even the half full or half empty glass has its limits either way.

Today is like any other day. But it is a good day. I spend some time with my plants. I feed them. My wonderful husband clears some weeds in the front yard. Not much but it is something of him. He is tired too like me. Parenthood... yeah... parenthood. *sigh* I realise that gardening gives me a lighter feeling like losing weight.

But today is not like any day, because I decide not to say anything on Facebook. I feel Facebook does not like my posts anymore. Not my friends, maybe some, but Facebook itself censors my status without me knowing it. A crazy theory but it is highly likely. I start to dislike Facebook again. Nothing interests me anymore. Same old shit. Too noisy. Too mediocre. Too much advertisements associated with my interests. Facebook becomes too assuming that it knows me. I do not like that at all. Besides, I like some peace and quiet here in my own space. White walls. Windows which only open to the view of the trees and seas. No bat-shit million selfies, food porn and late uploads of whatever. From now on, I say things here.

The day before today, almost the same time as now, I sent a poet friend a poem I wrote some time ago. He said it is poetically fine. I take fine any day. I am not into poems. It is a freak moment if I write a poem. What interesting about the poem is that, it is somehow a premonition or prelude to a life-altering incident. I have no clue of its inspiration. I need to read it again and again to understand its context and complexities. The things I write still fascinate me, because it feels like something or someone takes over me.

And today, I sit and write this right here now. It is something! I guess, I am not that tired after all.


Will probably seize the day tomorrow,

zzz...cielo