15.4.19

Success By Me

Sometimes I feel the failure my parents believe me to be, especially my mother. But really, as far as I know and live life, I have already reached success. It is not success by popular convention, but something I believe worth fulfilling. If I am asked, I am done. I have reached success. It is not that I lack ambition, I just figure life and living to its full potential. I have love. I have peace. I have joy. Yet, when I think about what my parents know of me, I feel small. Ha! Not anymore. I am not here to live their projected life for me. I am here to live life as designed by life itself.

So, here I am in a zen state of existence. Free from psychological confusions of whatsoever. I am okay, although sometimes everything gets me thinking with million what if's. Like, what if I have finished law school? What if I have not gotten married or have a child? Would I be happier?

But then again, I recollect my prayers and intentions for myself and for the world. Success is never included, not once so far. I pray for forgiveness. I pray for love, more love, more love to give. I pray for the trees, the seas, the animals and those souls who need prayers. I pray for my love ones, even the dead ones. I pray for strength, that I never falter against those who do me wrong and wish me bad things. I pray that I may not go astray from my faith. I pray to know hope, and become hopeful. I pray for patience and kindness. I pray for healing and good health. And so I ask myself, why would I feel small. I never ask to be successful, to be wealthy, or whatsoever reality calls success.

My present success is my family. I have a husband loves me, and who put up with my crazy. I have a child, a beautiful son, who makes sure I feel pure love all day everyday.

Love makes me successful. I have it. I share it. I spread it.

– sC