seacielo

I once have told someone that “It’s better to be an unquestioning girlfriend than a reasonable person.” I have a follow up on that – “I rather turn a blind eye.” But yeah, I beg to differ that love is blind. I see everything clearly alright. I’ve chosen to close my eyes and dwell in the freedom of darkness.

*sigh* Where do I even start? Same old same old. Or, as they put it on annotated decisions… “Same: Same: Same:”

I am just tired. I cannot say I am weak to fight the issue, least not to settle. I am also tired of pulling a “Cielo.” This is the part where I say, “Bahala na.” Or, Ques sera sera… whatever will be will be.

That’s slap number three. I’m just going to say, “What’s new?” Oh… *shakes head.* Why? Why? Motherfucking Why?

Yeah I know, I am in the acceptance phase. I have accepted. But then, I will always ask the “Why?”

*sigh* I want to say I feel betrayed again. Yet, I am tired. That’s why perhaps that song keeps playing on my mind… “You are my sweetest downfall…” except the last part because “you love me first.”

Apathy is such a bliss. I am beginning to feel nothing. It is a good thing. My soul is slowly covering itself again. Now I know why Tan has heard the ocean that night when I called her. Like really, I am in the middle in the city. There’s no wind that night. Everything was calm except me. But then, she heard waves hitting the shore, and asked if I was by the beach. U huh… I just love how forces protect and defend me. I should’ve gone with Krick to Zambales. I think the big blue sea has called me.

Tsk. Tsk. It just keeps getting better and better. I miss the ocean. The one thing that keeps me safe.

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