29.1.18

A Bleak Night

Last two days worth of dreams revealed death of people I knew in the past. One was my brother's childhood best friend, and the other was the person I often dream of randomly.

They asked forgiveness from the people they offended the most in their lives. One was my cousin, and the other was a former girlfriend. The former girlfriend then told me that her ex-boyfriend wanted to tell me that he was sorry. 

Like great, even in his last breath, he could not tell me himself. Like wtf, right?! Perhaps I would remain a secret until his next lives. Do not mind me, I could not care less, really. Just stay the fuck out of my dreams. This guy has a pride as big as the universe. I sound assuming, no? Well, I do not care by now. I have countless accounts of being violated in my dreams. My dreams are private. My dreams are work. I lose significant life-altering work if he turns up in my dream, lurking like wtf is wrong with him. And nobody tells me that perhaps I think of him now and then. Like motherfucker wtf?! I live full on, even then after graduation. I have my struggles but I turn out okay most days. I breath in rainbows and shit unicorns, life could not get any better. No pun intended.

I do not think of him, if the premises of my dreams are my thoughts — conscious, subconscious or unconscious even whatever-wise otherwise. I think chores all the time, keeping up with them, and ending not doing any of them. Domestication fucks my head every damn day.

I have accepted a long time ago that a closure is an impossible feat. So my only wish, he better rest in peace far far away from my dreams. He better not become a fixture of my night life when he see the light at the end of the tunnel.

But hey, it is just another dream from where I sleep. I wish no death at all. I just wonder if my dreams are premonitions. After all, the moon becomes super bloody blue moon soon. Oh God, here we go...!

Hanging out in the dark side of the moon,

<moonlit>cielo

(excuse the morbid swearing. it's just that... *chuckle*chuckle*chuckle*facepalm*)