seacielo

I stand corrected. Not vacation, but holiday. Either way, it is my life. People might call me a bum, but I feel that I have that license to bum life. I am a bum if its meaning is constricted to work. I do not work. I make things happen. I give love. I give faith. I give hope. That is my job in this life. My boss is life and oh, God, which is why it is very impossible for me to have a human boss. My tolerance level is only limited to 7months to a year. In short, I only look up to the highest boss. So tell me, am I a bum?

My life’s job requires a lot of traveling and socializing. As much as I am a self-confessed anti-social, my job description needs me to be up and perky and rubbing elbows with the world. I need to do that and I am not complaining.

So I have to be in different places until I ran out of energy. Funny job I have, huh? Most of these places are near the beaches, if not the beach itself. Anyway, since my life is a holiday… when I take a time off it will be something like a Branson vacation. No beach, no no no no ocean at all. I have a weird feeling that the ocean is my job area.

I know, I know. I have a distinctive way of describing or justifying existence. But hey, we all play a role in life. This is mine. I give people their glory… self-fulfillment, etc. This is me owning up the job and stopping being in denial.

There are always weird things that happen between Brad and I before the moon gets whole, not to mention when the moon is already visibly round. Craving for movies is one. We need not check the calendar. We just know. However, there are also those petty silly fights out of nowhere. I am saying something, Brad has a perception otherwise. Or, me understanding from an odd point of view.

I am still upset. I just wanted to talk to him last night. It’s not like I can hold him and kiss him goodnight, which I always want every night. The least I can settle to is a talk and listening him laugh. That’s all it takes to make my day.

Of course, we will always have our lunar glitch. I am just giving Brad all the credit for being the one with the BIG patience. Well, if he could bring me white flowers now, that will make me smile. Funny that, I have this surprising want of white, black and red things.

Just got so found of my little niece and her big eyes. Those are just the eyes my sister always wanted for her baby. She always admired bright round eyes of babies before. Now, she has a baby that flashes those windows of the soul.

Me: OMG! My hair is really falling off again!

Sister: Hahahaha! What is happening to you? You’re like Hercules….

Me: Huh? Hahahaha!

Sister: I mean David.

Me: Hahahahaha! What?!

Sister: No! I mean Goliath!

Me: Bwhahahahaha!

Sister: Hahahahaha! Wait! Wait…!

Me: You mean Samson?!

Sister: Hahahahahaha!

I remember a friend who told me that, ” You’ll know when you are old because friends start asking you to be the godmother of their kids.” Yup I think I have been asked a lot of time lately. It is too bad I will miss Tan’s Vigo Christening. She has told me that it would be next year, then I just found out that it will be this October. I am not around that time.

Anyway, Vigo and Krick’s upcoming baby are my latest. I should start thinking of personalized gifts sooner, especially for Vigo since chances are, I won’t be around. I cannot disappoint Tan somehow. *ppft*

I should not be blabbing here. I should be telling Brad all these. After all, he is myself. But, he is in a very dark place right now. A safe place we both have. I want to drag him out right now, but as much as I want to, I want to give him a little space. I want that too sometimes just for me to figure things out. We both are not perfect. Somehow we tend to go to and fro the very spot we are familiar. I respect that.

So yeah, I have issues too with my self. Like I have said, it is not like I can do the usual with Brad. I realize that my hair is directly proportional with truth. I also discover that I feel awful about things and people, just because I let my parents control me at this age. Hold on… yes still, the parental issues are getting on my way.

I have a lot in line and still complaining about my parents. But, I give myself a credit discreetly taking action. Should I continue this?

Finally I will have the place on my own soon. The brother is going and the sister is going soon too. How great can like be with patience? Yup, one thing I have learned lately, or what life wants me to learn is patience. And, I can say that I am learning well. I can be a bitch once in awhile but I’ve gotten bye in those situation.

So, when I am alone soon… I will clean up, decorate and maintain. How bad could that be? I have been meaning to scrub the bathroom walls. I want to disinfect the sink, every part of it including Elkay or the faucet. Hmmnn a lot of things to be done. In short, I am decluttering. Life is good. I just hope Brad is out of the darkness by now. I am almost getting impatient waiting for him.

Oh yeah! She’s a darling and she loves water. I know she took that from me, unknowingly? And she loves the beach… now I have a little girl traveling with me soon to skim events. Lovely, she is! I wish her mommy will give her an Olympic size pool. I think she will be a swimmer, if not a surfer or yes… a skimboarder. Her mommy has asked for a skimboard for her. Of course I will give her… but not just yet.

I think all we need for a pool is a big space, lots of water and one of those quality pool pumps. If her grandparents will decide to get that property in CBR. I will DEMAND a pool for her. After all the water is incredibly free there. Literally free.

I know it is still a bratty thing to say that I always get what I want. It is just a matter of time. Most of the time, without any effort or less for an effort. I am thankful that I am not one of those people who are desperate to have this and that, or be this or that, or be known as this or that.

My secret to getting what I want… hmmnn. Ha! I guess, I am not telling.

Then again, it is another that I got lately. I am really glad. It makes me want life despite of all the challenges. Perhaps He wants me to go on and seize my purpose. Well, I am not sure if I am living it already or the inevitable is yet to come. Either way, I know He will hold The End for me.